Dear Cause and Effect,

If your car has overheating problems, you may choose to borrow your dad's truck to get to work. If the truck suddenly breaks down in the middle of an intersection in Provo, you will hopefully be able to pull into a parking lot to get out of traffic. You will then have to walk the rest of the four blocks to work, in the snow. You will be stopped by that lady who dances with the Pizza sign so she can tell you about her failing marriage. You will show up 12 minutes late to work, drenched. After your shift, you may ask your coworker to give you a ride to your sister's place, which is a lot closer than yours, so you can crash there and deal with the truck situation in the morning. Unfortunately, by the time you CAN deal with it, the lovely University Campus Parking services will have towed your broken down truck half a block away from where you parked it. Once you can get a friend to tow the dead truck back to Pleasant Grove, you will be charged a total of $230 in fees (including a $50 "administration fee" so you can fill out the paperwork) to get it out of the lot, which is a block away from were it broke down in the first place. You will not be buying food, let alone going to Disneyland, any time soon.


Love, Tanika

Dear People Invited to Theatrical Events on Facebook,

It is a rare happenstance when a production is put on for one night only. Usually, they run several nights a week for multiple weeks, or even months. On the event page, the person who created it will most likely put the date of closing night as the end time for the event, as well as opening night for the start time of the event. That way, you will see and understand that there are various chances to see the show, and know exactly how many MANY times you could take one of those said chances and see it. This does not mean that you are expected to see the show every single night. We are not asking you to make the same commitment we have made to be there every night. We just want you there for one evening, maybe more if you choose.  We just want you to be able to see it; we're flexible that way.

So when you say you cannot make it to opening night, and therefore will not be able to see the show at all, you display yourself as an unobservant git who deserves to be shot.

And it hurts our feelings.

Love, Tanika



P.S. I don't really believe anyone should ever be shot. It's just frustrating when we are excited for people to come see our show, and it's dismissed because people don't take the time to realize what's going on. It's just a vent, and I apologize to anyone who is offended or now worries I'm a homicidal maniac.