Dear Reader 3

After randomly picking up my blog again last night, I realized that I had previously talked about "Big Changes" and "Things Happening with My Life" and "I'M AN ADULT!!!" type stuff, but being oh so totally vague about what those happenings were. How mysterious of me... sorta.

Also, very few of my blogs this year have had pictures in them.

So I'm making up for not talking about what's going on in my life, personally, before I have to get ready for the day.

I graduate from THIS school in THREE WEEKS!!!!

Fo shiz. If you need a massage therapist, I'm really quite good. I'm a great Christmas present, too!

So that was the big change. Once I graduate, I'm moving on to 10 more weeks of continuing ed, because I can. However, I definitely want to be working during those 10 weeks. Best time to catch me is on weekends. 

Since starting that school, I have done two plays. First THIS one:

Again. I was white this time. In fact, I looked like THIS:

I KNOW, RIGHT?! Totally awesome experience. Performed it in front of thousands of people. I think. Ha. 

The second play I did was THIS:

Much smaller show, but absolutely fantastic. Got a lot more out of it than I was expecting, particularly in the friendship department. (Shout out to my SHTR peeps. Leedle.)

I sorta looked like THIS:

My hair was a lot more 40's. I was lazy on picture day. But believe me, I make one attractive maid.

Speaking of attractive, I've been dating THIS guy:

He is Trent. He is great. No, we are not engaged. He is currently going to grad school for Scene Design at Ohio State University. That is in Ohio. OHIO is fun to shout. OIHO is fun to shout backward. Ohio is far away. Trent has been far away since the beginning of September. Long distance is not my favorite. But he will be home for the better part of December. And I am excited. Fragmented sentence.

So. That's me since I last blogged. Aside from last night.

Love, Tanika

Dear Emotional, Sexual, and Mental Frustration,

You're back in my life. Crap.

Love, Tanika

P.S. Have a cookie.

P.P.S.

So now I have actual words to say on this subject. I find it insanely ironic that being emotionally needy is an extremely unattractive state of being, but in that state of unattractiveness, that is when you need people to be attracted to you the most. It's a never-ending cycle of needing people, and therefore pushing them away.

I have a new fear. I have a fear that I'm going to grow up to be one of those spectacular 40-something-year-old women who people always wonder, "She's so cool! Why isn't she married?"

I'm terrified.

Love, Tanika

Dear Reader 2,

I'm doing a small collection of mini letters I've written in my head in the last few days.



Dear Theatre,

Why is it that the 6-foot tall girl who is deathly afraid of heights is always. ALWAYS. The one chosen to do the complicated stuff on the extremely high part of the set? WHY?

Love, Tanika



Dear Men,

Is the following statement true? "If a guy wants to see a girl, he WILL do whatever it takes to see that girl." I'd really like to know, for the sake of my sanity. By the way, I'm single. And I should be dating a lot more. You should ask me on a date. I'm interested in you.

Love, Tanika



Dear Pirate Language on Facebook,

You make people's lives sound far more interesting than they are.

Love, Tanika



Dear "It" Girl,

You could seriously have your pick of most of the guys in the department. Pick one. Don't go all crazy white girl on him, and stick to him. Leave the rest of the poor male population to the rest of us girls. You don't get to flirt anymore. Chastity belt is now locked in place.

Love, Tanika



Dear Noorda Theatre Summer Camp,

Please, oh PLEASE, find a place for me. You have no idea how much I want to work for you. I don't care if it's changing diapers. I just need this experience this summer. Please, Please, PLEASE!!!

Love, Tanika



Dear Men (Again),

Fo shiz. Ask me on a date. I'll look pretty and try not to embarrass you and myself too much. And if you're repulsed by the idea of asking me out... please tell me why. I'd like to know what I'm doing wrong these days that makes it so impossible for you to think of me in that way. Ugh, I hate being one of those girls. Forget I said anything.

Love, Tanika


Thanks for letting me share!

Love, Tanika

P.S. Have you seen He's Just Not That Into You? Remember Gigi? I'm her. Without the exception. Heaven help me.

Dear Men in Relationships,

I have some rules for you. Kudos if you already apply them, but I know there are enough of you out there who aren't that this must be said.

1. When you are in a relationship, the person you talk to about your relationship the most is your girlfriend. Not your other friends who are girls. NEVER, EVER complain about your relationship to other girls. You have no idea how many of those girls are sitting there trying to be helpful when all they're really thinking is, "If she sucks this bad, why don't you just dump her and jump me already?" Unless you know some seriously cool, 100% complete lesbian, your best friend of the opposite sex should be your girlfriend. SHE is the one you love. SHE is the one you should want to talk to the most. If you need to vent, write in your journal. Then talk to your girlfriend about the issue.

2. You can flirt with other girls, as long as it's completely harmless and happens rarely. DO NOT flirt over facebook or some other public forum where your girlfriend can accidentally come across some comment you left on your hot friend's suggestive picture. That makes it really easy for both the girl you're flirting with and your girlfriend to read whatever you wrote over and over again. As I said before, you never know when that other girl may be really interested in you.

3. Emotionally cheating is still cheating. Even if you aren't doing anything physical with some other girl, if you find yourself wanting to spend more time with or talk to her more often than you do with your girlfriend, you have a problem. I don't care how close you were to this girl before you started dating your girlfriend. I don't care if you really think there's no way a relationship would work with her. If you had to choose between your girlfriend and this girl, and you have to think about it for more than 10 seconds, you need to reevaluate your relationship and have the guts to do something about it. This isn't high school. Friends don't come first anymore.

4. There is no such thing as "The One," at least in the sense of what that usually means. If you're going through relationships thinking, "Someday I'll find the one whom I will never want to cheat on. She'll be all I'll ever want, and suddenly I won't be attracted to any other girls. I won't stop looking until I find her!" you will continue looking until you become that creepy old man who lives at the end of the street that all the parents warn their young teenage girls to stay away from. Finding true happiness in relationships comes from choosing to focus those desires on that one person and making it work with this girl who's crazy enough to make it work with you, too. Love isn't something that can stand on its own; it must be cultivated constantly. You don't find the one, you create the one.

I know this could take a 180 and switch the genders of the situation. I just find that in my life, this is an issue with guys a lot more than it is with girls.

Also, I know some of you may be thinking, "Wow, this is a potentially seriously jealous girlfriend talking here." You may have a relationship where these offenses I've discussed are not considered as such. That's called an open relationship, and if it stays that way, you aren't going anywhere with this girl.   If you're saying you'll commit, then commit.

Love, Tanika