Dear Eating and Losing Weight,

Regardless of how much we has human beings have progressed in the last so many thousands of years, the human body still has many primitive instincts and defenses. We still grow hair all over the place to keep us warm and protect our skin from dirt and whatnot. Women's periods match up if they spend a lot of time together so that "nomadic" families can all settle for a few days while the ladies' bodies take care of business at the same time. If our bodies are suddenly not getting the same amount of food they're used to, they think our society has hit a famine and uses up the fat they have stored all over the place.

So yes, when we practically starve ourselves, we will lose weight. BUT, as soon as we've reached our goal weight and allow ourselves to eat like natural human beings again, our bodies have this huge celebration of "YAY, THE FAMINE'S OVER!!!" They go into panic mode and store as much fat as they possibly can from whatever foods we're eating, just in case the famine comes back. Because our bodies are doing their best to survive, they will only work against us if we work against them by being physical supporters of anorexia. By denying our bodies of the nutrients they need, we are almost literally becoming our own worst enemies. 

Instead of waging war with yourself in the battle for a slimmer figure, realize that your body is your ally. It wants to be healthy! If you feed it as much as it needs, with natural, nutrition-filled foods, coupled with regular exercise, it will happily do its best to comply with your want to lose weight. You may not see the results as quickly as you would with self-abuse and self-neglect, but the benefits of eating well with a healthy lifestyle are far more lasting. Be good to yourself! Be healthy, be happy!

Love, Tanika

P.S. I have a friend, McKenna Gordon, who is the founder of Totally Healthy Recipes. On April 25th, she's inviting one and all to participate in a 30 Day Challenge of living a healthy lifestyle. It's FREE! I'm all ready to go for it and whatnot. If you want to join me, click here. Let's be healthy, people!

Dear E vs. I,

I've been fighting this for a long time. I've always thought of myself as an Extrovert (E). But I am not. I am an Introvert (I). This may come as a surprise to many who have known me pre-college, because I seem so unbelievably outspoken half the time, and decently outgoing whenever else I'm observed. And that was true for most of my life.

However, looking back, I've realized that I seemed to be this way because of my upbringing, particularly in my schooling. I started out in preschool with many of the kids in my neighborhood. I knew almost everyone there beforehand. Then, going into kindergarten, I still had that same base of familiar people; just adding a few more. Because my family has stayed in the same house for almost as long as I can remember, and I never transferred schools or anything like that, I was constantly in a familiar environment. From elementary school, to junior high, to high school, I was never the new kid.

There were times when I had to try to make friends, but it was never a long struggle. If I had shy moments or there were times I felt excluded, I could always go back to that base of people whom I had known for years and trusted. Or, I would be swooped upon by those who were older than me and saw my potential, and I was included. By my senior year, I was completely comfortable and in my element, never needing to stretch myself outside of familiarity more than to include those who came into my world.

Then I graduated, and went to college.

For the first time in my life, I was not the top dog. It was the classic scenario of turning from a big fish in a little pond to a small fish in a comparatively large pond. In the theatre world, I had serious competition. I was not the best at everything. I became extremely intimidated by pretty much anyone who grasped things faster than I did. I lost a lot of my drive and confidence. Suddenly I found myself in large groups of people with next to nothing to say. Making friends was difficult, but it happened. Instead of being a member and leader of an army of comrades, I chose to spend my time with a few close friends, slowly getting to know them on an individual level.

Because I had known myself to be an extrovert for most of my life, it was difficult to come to this conclusion. In the last year or so, I've had people (mostly those whom I have allowed myself to become close to since college) diagnose me as an introvert, and I was almost offended by it. How could such a person who had been known to be so confident, so well-known, so LOUD, be an introvert? According to one particular friend, the best way to tell whether someone is an E or an I (thank you, Myers-Briggs) is to put them in a large crowd of people they don't know. Does this person easily go out of their way to introduce themselves to anyone and everyone in the room, or do they choose to stay aloof, barely speaking unless spoken to, and possibly finding one or two people to get to know?

Considering my background of knowing most of my peers in my childhood, I was rarely surrounded by strangers. I thought, because I made myself the center of attention in many situations, of course I was an E. Even in classroom settings where I didn't know absolutely everyone, I was always one to speak up. However, once I was finally put into multiple scenarios of unfamiliarity, I either became or discovered my Introvert-ness, for lack of a better word.

I am shy. It is difficult for me to put myself out there among people I don't know. Unless I know and am comfortable with all or most members of a party, I have a tendency to keep my conversations between a few people, or, if there is an intimidating element pressing upon me in the situation, I shut down completely. Once you get to know me, then you will discover that I still am that loud and confident person... but just with you.

So there you go, E vs. I. I can now comfortably accept the fact that I'm an introvert. And that's okay.

Love, Tanika

Dear World Outside My House,

Although it's only been two days since I've had the chance to physically acknowledge your existence, I'm already feeling like some sort of mute, invalid hermit type thing. Perhaps the drugs I'm on, which don't necessarily take away the pain but instead make me care very little about the pain, possibly making me care even less about everything else. Like the fact that I haven't changed my clothes in two days, let alone showered. Is that TMI? I don't care. See what I mean?

By the way, these pills also make me randomly dizzy, and therefore it's hard for me to go through my paragraphs and fix whatever sentences that aren't that coherent. Including this one. I'm sure I'll go through this blog again in a week or so and say to myself, "Oh, Tanika. WHY did you think it was a good idea to write a blog while under the influence of whateverthecrapthesepillsare? Don't do that again, honey."

Then again, this may not be half as bad as I think it is. And the fact that I'm on pills, not necessarily the pills  themselves, is making me paranoid that I seem really really strange right now.

ANYWAY!

I want to thank those who have come over and visited me since my first put-under operation of finally getting rid of my puss-filled tonsils. First off, my fabulous Name Twin, Tanika Lee. You're a total sweetheart, and you MUST ACCEPT the love and adoration I have for you for checking up on me, texting my mommy the whole time I was at the hospital, then making your wonderful grandma drive you all the way down here to deliver a box and a half of Jello. It's been a life saver. I love love love you.

Aaaand then there's Taylor. Thanks for bringing a third of your movie collection over so I don't have to watch the same movies that I watch every time I get sick over and over, and especially thank you for sitting with me through two movies and then letting me sleep while you were still there. I hate being boring company. Thanks for just going with the flow. :)

Lovely Warner Sisters, Aubrey and Randilee. The Fun Shaped Jello was absolutely adorable! Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to stop by and give me a quick hello. You guys are pretty much awesome. I like that we're friends.

And of course, my parents and family have been stupendous caretakers throughout the whole thing. Mom and Dad haven't had a meal made out of solids at home since I've been here. It's times like these when you realize how much you really care about your family, and how much they care about you. And my family really cares about me. I'm starting to get the feeling that they may force me to take a shower sometime soon so I don't scare off the rest of the world anymore.

So, outside world, I know you're still there. I KNOW it. But, to be honest, the internet and tv aren't doing it for me. If you wanna come see me, I'd LOVE to see you. I don't know how entertaining it will be for you, but still. I'm gonna be bored for the next week. And in being on pills, and bored, and being in pain, and not being able to talk much, I've become rather self-centered. More than usual.

Yeah... that's pretty much all I wanted to say.

Love, Tanika

Dear Tonsils,

This is really really bad timing for you to be red, swollen, and creating huge amounts of stones, thus making me hack and cough and think "Ow" every time I swallow.

Oh, did I mention that my doctor, once again, came up with no diagnosis for what's going on? It's not strep, and because my mom said, "Please let it not be tonsillitis!" during the appointment, he was too afraid to say what it really is, IF it is tonsillitis. So he did his usual "Well, let's slap some antibiotics on like a band-aid and send you on your way!" bit, and now I'm sitting at home feeling like crap.

I really should be outside doing SOMETHING with the yard to help out with Charlie's wedding coming up in a few weeks, but moving hurts. So I'm waiting for this woman to come over so I can type up and print out the addresses to put on the invitations that aren't even here yet. And my whole family is totally stressing out. And now I'm out of commission for the most part, because I can't get anyone else in my family sick three weeks before this wedding.

So please. Give me a break and just be healthy so I can go back to helping my family out. Please, oh please?!

Love, Tanika