Dear Things I Need To Have Happen Sometime In The Near Future,

I'm in a transitional phase. Rather, I'm in a waiting/transitional phase. Again. I'm on the brink of so many wonderful and exciting things. Some of them I need to just DO, and others require a little patience. These things have been swimming their way through my brain currents in a semi-unorganized fashion, so I'm taking this I'm-not-sleepy moment to let them all run out my fingertips and find some order on the screen I see before me, while updating my blog for all you lovely people on the screen you see before you. Yourself? Grammar. Ugh.

Before I rampage everything yet to happen, I must gloriously announce one huge thing that has a giant green check mark next to it on my to-do list, I HAVE A JOB! Actually, I have TWO jobs! One at Massage Envy in American Fork, the other is with a company called True Balance Onsite Massage, where I go to various places of business in the valley and work on employees, giving chair massage. Both are fantastic. Both are going to get me out of school debt and out of my parents' house and... oh dear, I let the list get ahead of me. may as well start it now.

1. I need to pay off my school debt. As previously stated and as logic goes, the jobs (and some prudence on my part) will take care of this. After multiple sit-downs with the calculator on my phone, I've figured out that I'll be able to pay off most of what I owe to the government by the end of the summer. BOO-YAH. However, I want to build my credit (I feel so adult and boring saying this) so I'll still make monthly payments for a good, eh... whatever will build my credit faster. Speaking of credit, how does one go about safely checking their credit score for free? Rumor has it it's possible, but like hayel if I'm trusting the commercials on the radio.

2. I need to move out of my parents' house. Here's the plan: I save up what I can to complete number 1 this summer, then move to Provo in August. If you'd ask me if I'd ever move back to Provo this time two years ago, I would have laughed and then punched you in the face. I've changed SO MUCH in the last two years, absolutely for the better. I'm in healthier, more self-relient place. I'm not moving out because I feel like I have to, I'm doing it because I want to. I can't be an adult the way I want to be while living here. Don't get me wrong; I'm eternally grateful for my parents' patience, understanding, and overwhelming support in letting me stay here, but they would agree that it's time I get my own place.
So why Provo? It's farther from work than where I live now, it's full of zoobies, and... some other con to make this a proper tri-list. Really, the only con is that I'd have to forge the Utah Valley I15 for a solid 7 entrance/exits. The goal is to get a place that's really close to the Center Street entrance, and Envy is right off the American Fork Main Street exit, so the commute would be about 90% freeway, which is not that bad... depending on construction and the time of day. I'll risk it. Besides, living that close to the freeway will get me far away enough from campus that my ward won't necessarily be filled with 18-year-olds who will be married faster than you can say, "Family, Home and Social Sciences." (I'm being so rude here, guys. Sorry if I offend you.) But really, most of my friends live there anyway, and let's face it... I need a better dating scene. Cringe. I'm not sure what I'll find there, but it's bound to be better than what I have now.

3. I need to upgrade my standard of living. This goes along well with number 2, but deserves its own mini-category. Things like getting a smart phone to better organize my life. Fixing my bike/getting a new one to be more eco-friendly and to add exercise to my lifestyle, not something I just set time aside to do. Taking better care of the things I have, like clothes, my car, my hair. Using my time wisely. I've spent a lot of the last year getting to the point of functioning well, and it's time to up my game. I have it set in my head that these are all things I'll do once I move out, but really, I can do them right now. So I will!

4. I need Elder Nathan Gardner to come home from his mission already! Three and a half weeks. June 14th. Freakishly excited. Don't get any ideas, people. I'm ready to have my best redhead friend back, and that's it. No, stop it. I know what look you're giving the screen right now. Stop it! I shouldn't have said anything.

5. I need to record myself singing more often, and SHARE it. I haven't given up on my dreams of being a professional singer/actress/whatever, but I've semi put them on hold while pursuing massage therapy. Now that I have THAT underway, I can get back to my core passion of music. I'm juggling with the idea of going back and getting my degree in vocal performance or something music-related, but that's still extremely vague and in the works. Meanwhile, here's a little ditty I recorded with my friend Sam Dodini, who's much better at internet-ly sharing his voice with others and has inspired me to do the same. Enjoy!



Love, Tanika

Dear Reader 4

Once again, my life has done that thing where it has become completely different since the last time I blogged. Changes being:

I am single. I won't go into details as to why. But I learned a lot from the experience. Always, always, do life experiences teach me to do better, to be better, next time.

I am graduated, and then some. I'm officially a licensed massage therapist (LMT for short), running an extremely small private practice. I'm currently living in two places at once; up in South Salt Lake with my loverly Aunt and Uncle Findlay during the week and at my parents' place on the weekends. Deciding to do the Master Bodyworker Program at the Salt Lake campus of UCMT (the continuing ed stuff I mentioned in the last blog) has been a huge eye-opener for me. If anything, it has humbled me into realizing that I still have a lot to learn not only about bodywork, but about life. Escaping the Happy Valley Bubble was is a lot scarier than I thought... turns out I really am a product of my surroundings. I'm the self-dubbed "Bright and Shiny" person in my tiny class of six people. Befriending those other five people is the best adventure.

That being said, I'm to the point where I really just want to be working. To have a chance to relight the fire of this fulfilling work. To make a LIVING. So it's time to pound the pavement and be a contributing member of society. And it will happen. I'm more than capable of getting a good job. I'm going to keep telling myself that until someone finally hires me.

Through all of this, I'm doing my best to establish a personal relationship with Heavenly Father, through Christ's atonement. Letting go of some serious pride has broken me down in ways I never thought would be this good for me. It's personal now. It's about doing the right things because I want to, not just because I should. It isn't about what others want or expect of me, it's what God expects of me. It's down to earth, it's deep, and it's real. It is my core. I don't think I've ever been this converted, and it feels more right than anything ever has.

So there you go. Without the forced positivity of anything, that is my life.

Here's a piece of music I've come to remember that I love in the last 48 hours. It, along with other pieces from this soundtrack, will hopefully be making its way into my Massage Therapy playlist as soon as I decide I have enough money to spend on music again. Have a great experience in your life sometime between now and the next time we talk.

Love, Tanika

Dear Reader 3

After randomly picking up my blog again last night, I realized that I had previously talked about "Big Changes" and "Things Happening with My Life" and "I'M AN ADULT!!!" type stuff, but being oh so totally vague about what those happenings were. How mysterious of me... sorta.

Also, very few of my blogs this year have had pictures in them.

So I'm making up for not talking about what's going on in my life, personally, before I have to get ready for the day.

I graduate from THIS school in THREE WEEKS!!!!

Fo shiz. If you need a massage therapist, I'm really quite good. I'm a great Christmas present, too!

So that was the big change. Once I graduate, I'm moving on to 10 more weeks of continuing ed, because I can. However, I definitely want to be working during those 10 weeks. Best time to catch me is on weekends. 

Since starting that school, I have done two plays. First THIS one:

Again. I was white this time. In fact, I looked like THIS:

I KNOW, RIGHT?! Totally awesome experience. Performed it in front of thousands of people. I think. Ha. 

The second play I did was THIS:

Much smaller show, but absolutely fantastic. Got a lot more out of it than I was expecting, particularly in the friendship department. (Shout out to my SHTR peeps. Leedle.)

I sorta looked like THIS:

My hair was a lot more 40's. I was lazy on picture day. But believe me, I make one attractive maid.

Speaking of attractive, I've been dating THIS guy:

He is Trent. He is great. No, we are not engaged. He is currently going to grad school for Scene Design at Ohio State University. That is in Ohio. OHIO is fun to shout. OIHO is fun to shout backward. Ohio is far away. Trent has been far away since the beginning of September. Long distance is not my favorite. But he will be home for the better part of December. And I am excited. Fragmented sentence.

So. That's me since I last blogged. Aside from last night.

Love, Tanika

Dear People who are/know people ages 3.5-18+,

This is my shameless plug.

This June, I am assisting at the UVU/Noorda Youth Theatre Summer Camp. It's a spectacular opportunity for kids and youth to learn about various aspects of theatre from highly qualified specialists, and a great way to meet new people, build self confidence and have fun! The camp runs from June 7th to July 2nd. You can sign up as many weeks of the camp you want with however many classes you want; basically in a "build your own summer camp" format.

Along with classes and workshops, the summer camp is producing three Theatre for Young Audiences productions: 

Super Student and the Case of the Water Pistol (grades 4th-9th)

High School Hamlet (grades 7th-12th)

The Secret Life of Girls (grades 10th-12th)

Auditions are being held THIS FRIDAY, May 14th. You can come prepared with a minute-long monologue, or just take one of the cold reads. They'll even let you say your name five different ways if you want; they just want to see what you can do. 

To register, call 801-863-8012. For details, click here for the Facebook event page and here to download brochures for full class/workshop schedules and information, SCHOLARSHIP opportunities and for online registration. I promise, if this sounds like an opportunity you or your friends may even be vaguely interested in, you should check it out and sign up for classes. You do not want to miss out!

Love, Tanika

P.S. In case you were wondering, the classes I'm assisting in are Story Book Drama for classes ages 3.5-4.5, 4-5, and K-1st grade during the 3rd week, Storytelling: Personal Tales for grades 10-12, and Improv for grades 7-9 in the 4th week. If you or someone you know are in the right age group for my classes! You know you want to come play with me.

Dear Reader 2,

I'm doing a small collection of mini letters I've written in my head in the last few days.



Dear Theatre,

Why is it that the 6-foot tall girl who is deathly afraid of heights is always. ALWAYS. The one chosen to do the complicated stuff on the extremely high part of the set? WHY?

Love, Tanika



Dear Men,

Is the following statement true? "If a guy wants to see a girl, he WILL do whatever it takes to see that girl." I'd really like to know, for the sake of my sanity. By the way, I'm single. And I should be dating a lot more. You should ask me on a date. I'm interested in you.

Love, Tanika



Dear Pirate Language on Facebook,

You make people's lives sound far more interesting than they are.

Love, Tanika



Dear "It" Girl,

You could seriously have your pick of most of the guys in the department. Pick one. Don't go all crazy white girl on him, and stick to him. Leave the rest of the poor male population to the rest of us girls. You don't get to flirt anymore. Chastity belt is now locked in place.

Love, Tanika



Dear Noorda Theatre Summer Camp,

Please, oh PLEASE, find a place for me. You have no idea how much I want to work for you. I don't care if it's changing diapers. I just need this experience this summer. Please, Please, PLEASE!!!

Love, Tanika



Dear Men (Again),

Fo shiz. Ask me on a date. I'll look pretty and try not to embarrass you and myself too much. And if you're repulsed by the idea of asking me out... please tell me why. I'd like to know what I'm doing wrong these days that makes it so impossible for you to think of me in that way. Ugh, I hate being one of those girls. Forget I said anything.

Love, Tanika


Thanks for letting me share!

Love, Tanika

P.S. Have you seen He's Just Not That Into You? Remember Gigi? I'm her. Without the exception. Heaven help me.

Dear Certain Customers of a Certain Restaurant,

I promise you, I will make the sandwich the way you like it if you tell me how to make it. Especially if you choose to call the sandwich you want by its name as stated on the menu, then give me whatever variation you want. We'll all be a lot happier that way.

Love, Tanika